A colleague of mine, lets call him MB, just came into work a bit stressed and disheveled and asked me for a spare tie because he hadn’t brought one. The reason he hadn’t brought one was because he had to sleep in a hotel all weekend and forgot to bring a tie along with the rest of his work clothes.
The reason he had to sleep in a hotel was because when he returned to his appartment at Friday night (at around 3am), he discovered a random guy sitting on his couch using his laptop. Imagine that for a second: You come home in a Friday night, tired as fuck from your time out and want to hit the bed ASAP, and you open the door to find an unknown person, sitting on your couch typing away at your laptop as if everything is normal.
Now if you think that bad enough, you haven’t heard anything. One would be inclined to ask: “How did this random person enter the appartment? Pick the lock? Break a window?” But no my friends, the reality in this case is stranger than fiction. This guy, who is incidentaly his next door neighbour, had apparently cut a hole in the wall big enough for him to get through, from his own appartment. The wall incidentally, is about 50cm thick.
So there’s this guy sitting on the couch smiling at him peacefully; not upset, not startled, just smiling as if everything is as it should be. MB understandably was mightily confused by this behaviour and initially thought that there was some perfectly reasonable explanation for all this. Perhaps someone broke in and this guy drove him off and was waiting for MB to come back? It was not until MB noticed the hole in the wall and the guy took responsibility for it that MB started going mental.
At some point, MB managed to finally ask him why he did all this. Inside his mind he was still expecting some kind of plausible rationale on why someone could possible tunnel into the next appartment and just sit there. The answer? Oh that’s just the cherry on top…
God told him to do it.
This story just doesn’t need any commentary does it?
So anyway, after that finally 10 policemen arrived (after being called by the girlfriend of a friend, since the call dispatcher did not speak English) and were just as dumbfounded as MB. I can just imagine them apologizing to MB and explaining that no, this sort of thing doesn’t happen. They hauled the intruder off to the station and finally MB was left alone…with his new hole.
This is the kind of story that you can use as a table story for years to come. Ah fun!
UPDATE: We’ve got photographic evidence over at the laughing wolf’s blog, just to convince you this is not a fictional story. Plus, he has a more humorous description than I do. Now if only he would learn how to link to permalinks and send me some proper trackbacks…