Look at all the wonderful victim blaming (Also: MRAs disgust me)

So, a woman get raped and the judge gives us this brilliant quote

Queen’s Bench Justice Robert Dewar called Rhodes a “clumsy Don Juan” who may have misunderstood what the victim wanted when he forced intercourse along a darkened highway outside Thompson in 2006.

I don’t think a simple “WTF” can even express my reaction at this. But anyway, I’m not here to talk about that. People who read this blog probably know already that “Blind Justice” is notoriously privileged.

However I do want to point out the Shit Reddit Said when this story was posted around.

From /r/women:

Am I the only one thinking that “Hey, Maybe if she would’ve taken responsbility for her actions, by saying ‘no’ and leaving this would have never happened” ?

Yes, because yes first “No” when he tried to kiss her didn’t count and anytime a woman is alone with a male, is an obvious consent to sex. What is this? Saudi Arabia?

First she says no, then she returns his kisses. She’s dressed like a whore and drunk. Flirts with him, leads him on, continues to go into the woods with him for some skinny dipping, then gives in. Maybe the next day she regrets her drunken actions, and doesn’t want to be associated with this dope, and cries rape to save face with her friends/family.

Poor guy, he was led on by her whory flirting. FALSE RAPE ACCUSATION!

Terrible ruling. However, what was this woman thinking? There is a big difference between blame and using responsibility- and while I’m not suggesting she is at fault (blame), I have to seriously question her sense of personal responsibility for getting drunk and driving into the woods with strangers. Unfortunately, she learned the hard way that a man’s hormones aren’t something to fuck with.

Men can’t control themselves you know? That’s why the best method to avoid rape is for women to wear burkas and stay next to a male eunuch at all times. What was that woman thinking? Everyone knows that single women are consenting to sex. I tried to educate this particular rape apologist but I just couldn’t take more than 2 replies.

I’m starting to think there is an automated response for some women in a rape situation, and it doesn’t involve a lot of struggling. After all, if the woman would be fighting tooth and nail and screaming bloody murder, most guys would actually stop.[…]

But in most of the world this is not the case anymore. So I ask you, an obvious Feminist, shouldn’t we educate women to do more in this kinds of situations? To yell, at least, if not fight?

Because if women don’t struggle, it’s an implicit consent. Nevermind that some might be too terrified, stressed or shocked or just shamed to react violently. No, we, as males should educate all those foolish women on the best way to prevent rape.

Unfortunately I also did the mistake of trying to argue with this fool, but something tells me I didn’t get through:

I’d rather prevent rape by any practical means, whether it fits a feminist agenda or not. Plus, if a woman would tell women to fight and scream in a rape attempt, would you still find it offensive?

Moving on to /r/2x, perhaps there will be less disgusting shit there:

I don’t know about this case since I wasn’t there, but guys are dumb and sometimes don’t catch signals that are sent. I have also known girls who cried rape when it really wasn’t.

You can’t honestly expect guys to control themselves1 , plus don’t forget how common false rape accusations are!

There are other shitty sentiments expressed in there but they’re usually spread out within Walls of Text so I wouldn’t do them justice.

In /r/canada:

The judge here doesn’t seem to be saying “She was dressed slutty, so she was asking for it” but rather that given the circumstances (they had been partying, the guys were invited to go skinny dipping, he had kissed her and she reciprocated etc.) the man may have reasonably thought he had consent.

If she said no, resisted physically, was passed out etc., then by all means, send the guy to jail. But isn’t it possible that at the time things were a little more ambiguous?

Because what the man thinks is enough of course. Any time you reasonably think that the woman might have implicitly consented, go for it! If she doesn’t resist physically, you know she wants it.

I had a girlfriend break up with me, come back to my apartment to have sex with me and then proceeded to tell me that she would call the police and claim rape.

To this day, I didn’t understand why.

Crazy-ass bitch.

Wait wat?

And the best piece of blatant misogyny

I see nothing wrong with this. Let it be a lesson to the girl… The next time you dress like a slut, get drunk with a stranger, and then suggest that you go off alone, into the woods to go skinny dipping, odds are the guy is going to assume he is getting laid.

Fortunately the poster was downvoted to -10, but still. Still…

And finally, my favourite, the comment on the /r/mensrights repost:

Heavy make-up . . . no bra . . . high heels and tube tops??!! WTF? Did he pick up some drag queens?

What is this, I don’t even.

She kissed him back, she went in the woods with him, it sounds like she skinny dipped with him, it sounds like she accepted his advances and the judge wasn’t convinced that she said no.

In fact, it sounds like she never said no. It just sounds like he misunderstood her body language and was non-threatening. It sounds more like regret than anything.

This comment is of course not surprising coming from the Goddamn Batman of the MRAs, but it is archetypical of the lot.

Um, they wandered into the woods? Who the hell follows a stranger into the woods?!

Not sure if the alleged victim was actually raped, but she was pretty clearly an idiot.

And idiots clearly deserve to be raped…

The point is “Innocent until proven guilty.” What differentiates this particular allegation from another case, where the man was honest-to-god innocent, but due to extenuating circumstances the woman falsely accused him?

You can bet your ass that in a thread about women being raped, any present MRA will bring up the awful epidemic of False Rape Accusations. Like fucking clockwork!

This is yet another shining example of how the Men’s Rights movement attracts the worst kind of males (much like the White Rights movements attracts the worst kind of White skinned people).

That’s all folks. Your weekly dose of misanthropy has been delivered. Enjoy!

  1. Hey, isn’t it a common trope to call males as “logical” and females as “emotional”? I wonder what happened to this concept here. Hmmm…. []

10 thoughts on “Look at all the wonderful victim blaming (Also: MRAs disgust me)

  1. This is pretty representative of why I now avoid having serious conversations on reddit.

    1. Yeah, much of the time it's not worth it to have discussion outside of the "safer" areas, just to avoid losing one's faith in humanity. This is why we're trying to reduce this kind of shitty comments from proliferating in /r/anarchism. We have enough such rhetoric everywhere else.

  2. I have a few conflicting feelings here.

    1) If convicted of rape, I really don't care about the circumstances. You raped someone. Sentencing should not consider things that did not hold up as a defense against the accusation itself. This douche obviously deserves to be in jail for at least some period of time.

    2) #1 not withstanding, what about cases where consent really is ambiguous? If a woman doesn't say no, or does so and then says yes but is not enthusiastic is he guilty of rape? I guess (and this is as a man and so inherently misogynistic) I would just like to see some concrete markers.

    I'm also coming at this from the point of view of a man who would not have been pleading "not guilty" in the referenced case (if some women told the truth (i.e. didn't say I hit her or ripped her clothing off or refused to stop when she asked/said/screamed) about a "session" we had together and she came away feeling raped, I'd personally be destroyed by that and be willing to do whatever I could to make amends).

    1. 2) The concrete markers are simple. If a woman says no, it means no. Even if you kissed. Even if you had sex before. Even if you are in the process of having sex.

      If things are unclear (eg. "non-enthusiastic yes".) Then ask for a clear confirmation before proceeding.

      1. Agreed on all points.

        Although, if both parties are intoxicated, are they both guilty of rape (in some locales intoxicated parties cannot give consent unless it was given prior to becoming intoxicated)?

        In all seriousness though, rape is just plain bad and anyone defending it or claiming being accused of rape is as bad as being raped is just a douche (who deserves what he's likely to get in prison).

        1. If both parties are intoxicated then things get difficult but it all depends on how the events unfolded. The variations are limitless so I can't give a single answer.

          1. Thank you, that's the entirely reasonable answer I was (unfortunately) hoping for (as it agrees with my opinion). It is unfortunate that these esoteric arguments aren't the only ones being had about this subject (how much better if this was the only rape scenarios that we had to deal with as a society).

            Your post brings us closer to that goal.

  3. There needs to be a serious examination of rape laws which include a severe punishment for falsely claiming rape. Ever since the OJ mess the politicians have insisted on laws which are over the edge and savagely stupid. This is how twisted it can get : A man picked up a street walker on a street known for prostitutes. He paid and began having sex with the female. After a bit he wanted to change to her rear. She resisted that and they slithered to the sidewalk from the car still in coitus. The guy was charged with rape! I mean after all she did sort of say no in the middle of the dance.
    The second part is that all rapes are not equal. In the case of the above mentioned hooker even if she was raped it would have been a trivial incident and only one of the twenty or so guys she sexed on the average day.

    1. You're saying that if you owned a store where people came in and bought things, that you getting robbed is less serious than a robbery than if they stole things from someone's house? You do realize how asinine you sound, right? If this was an attempt at humour it failed miserably.

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