There’s a few humorous BINGO sheets available on the internet, from the hilarious Libertarian Troll Bingo, to the sarcastic Sexism in Games BINGO. The latter one, I recently modified slightly and then run through the comments of reddit, which were discussing sexism in games, with great success. I had quite a lot of fun doing it and it also occurred to me that there is another topic where there are so many cliché criticisms that might benefit from a similar treatment.
To this end, I’ve created the “Anarchism Can’t Work lolol” Bingo, which is a humorous view into some of the most common, and usually outright absurd criticisms of anarchism that are frequently trotted out when such discussions occur. You can find it below in a simple html form, or on the side, in an image format (click on the thumbnail for larger version).
So without further ado:
The “Anarchism Can’t Work lolol” BINGO
|Whitest kids you know / Something Positive / etc||Go live in Somalia if you like Anarchy so much.||Anarchist Catalonia and Ukraine were defeated in war, so this proves Anarchism can’t work. Democratic France being defeated in WW2 doesn’t count.||Grow up and get a job!||What have the Anarchists ever achieved? The “Haymarket affair”? Never heard of it.|
|Who would maintain the roads and gather the garbage?||Why don’t you create your own political party and run for office?||People are too stupid and evil to voluntary work together. They need benevolent leaders to do it for them. What do you mean “who would choose the leaders”?||Who would control the huge corporations if the state didn’t exist? Today they’re perfectly regulated and kept in check by our incorruptible leaders.||You’re a Utopian. Anarchy will never work the way you idealize, unlike Capitalism and the State which work perfectly now.|
|The corrupt politicians in power will never allow any movement that starts to challenge the state. Ron Paul 2012!||You’re not a true anarchist unless you support the rights to private property, capitalism and wage slavery.||Human Nature (FREE SPACE)||Your ethical arguments on how humans should act in an anarchist society makes you as bad as Stalin and Pol Pot.||If you oppose Capitalism so much, then why are you still using a computer and the internet, huh? And why do you buy groceries?|
|Let’s say tomorrow we magically had an Anarchist society…||An anarchist society doesn’t exist right now, therefore it could never work. Why no, I do not know how old Capitalism is.||The state is required because humans don’t exercise voluntary organization. Much like shoes are required because our feet lack the callouses one would develop by not wearing shoes.||Whenever your revolutions were attempted, they ended up in brutal dictatorships after a bloody civil war. Unlike all democratic revolutions which were peaceful and never failed.||I demand to know the exact details of an anarchist society of the future. People could easily predict 20th century Capitalism during the 19th.|
|Humans need hierarchy. All human societies throughout history were hierarchical.||Why don’t anarchist start their own communes right now? Just buy the land from the state or capitalists and prove it works. Of course nobody will try to mess with it.||Without a state and laws to tell me how to behave, I’d go on a killing spree immediately.||Libertarian Socialism is an oxymoron.||I agree with you, but nothing can ever change, so why bother…|
I don’t believe I need to point out that this Bingo chart is dripping with sarcasm 🙂
One thing you might like to note is that I’ve tried to align the chart in such a way so that the middle horizontal axis contains common arguments coming from right-libertarians and “Anarcho”-Capitalists, while the middle vertical axis contains arguments that approach a Marxist-Leninist/State Socialist criticism. This should allow an easy Bingo in case you’re arguing wish such ideologues. 🙂
Finally, in case you want to spread it around, or rework it, below I’m including two text files, one containing the bingo options in simple text format, while the other one containing the bingo chart in a way that you can paste into reddit comments.
Let me know if there is a more fitting answer that I’ve missed. A few of them are possibly not that common or absurd, so if you can think of a better replacement, let me know and I’ll update it.