Jesus Loves You

Man, these religious fanatics are so amusing at times.

Yesterday I was at the docks practicing my fire staff skills and I decided to move away from the Alexander the Great’s statue and to a more dark area. The lights around there glare at my eyes and I cannot catch the staff correctly.
Anyway, right next to the statue some people were gathering and were making sound checks, I decided to move further down so as to not be near the noise.

Then the fun started.

It seems those people were religious zealots and they believed in “Our Saviour Christ” with an astounding fervor.

They started with a silly little song about how much “Jesus loves us” and I could hear people clapping (not many though) and then they started shouting.
It reminded me of times of past when people would stand in the town square and advertise the religion of their choice to anyone who cared to stand and listen (think The Life of Brian)

‘Jesus Loves Youuu’
‘He gave his life for Youuu’
‘Don’t look awaaay’
‘Jesus is your saviooor’

etc. which went on for quite while.
I mean, not even one convincing argument? Just that Jesus loves us and that’s that? Shouldn’t they be trying to convince us heathens with their facts and depth of knowledge?

They were also giving away pamphlets and new testaments for free. I guess reading the new testament once more after school (as if they didn’t perform a big enough proselytism there) is supposed to be all the proof we need.

At one point I was passing next to them and a fat man wearing a purple shirt came and gave me the pamphlet and the book. I was too tired to argue with him so I just took them among blessings and shit and then threw them in the garbage.

Since that whole charade was supposed to be for the teenagers and young adults, they brought forward some converted young men to talk about their experiences.
They were talking about how they were saved and it seems they only thing they were saved from were generic “sins” and booze and drugs. Well I’m not into drugs or excess booze so I can safely say that I was “saved” as well. Although in my case I’m pretty certain “God” had nothing to do with it.

Anyway I was minding my own business and hoping that they would go away soon and then along comes an old lady along with yet another fat man (I wonder how those pious men seem to be fed so well) and wanted to give me the pamphlet and the book. Only I didn’t want them this time.
As soon as they heard that, they were on me like vultures.

‘Just take the pamphlet and all will be explained’
‘I’d rather not’
‘Look, here’s the new testament, it’s free’
‘I don’t want it’
‘I don’t have anywhere to put it’
‘Aren’t you a Christian’
‘What are you then’
‘I have no religion’
‘Then take the book, you need it’
‘No I don’t’
‘Look, there’s more important things than playing with that stick of yours’
‘Don’t tell him that, he’s a good kid’
‘But I like my stick’
‘Yes and it must be good excercise, but aren’t you afraid for your immortal soul?’
‘I don’t know if I do have one’
‘Sure you do’
‘How do you know?’
‘God tells us’
‘He didn’t tell it to me’
‘What are those numbers on your shirt’(reading them aloud in case they magically turn into 666)‘9-8-6’
‘Look, I don’t need the book or the pamphlet, I’ve made my choices’
‘But what about your spirit…?’

This conversation continued for a while until another lady (ugly as hell) came and took them because they were “late” (for what?)

Then after a while two little girls came, with pamphlets again.
After staring at me for a while they made their move

‘Hey mister, take a pamphlet’
‘No let me, it my turn’ the other girl would say
‘I don’t wanna’
‘You don’t? But it’s free’
‘Yes I know, but I don’t need it’

I don’t remember that conversation very well, but I do know that those girls didn’t try to convince me and I regretted not telling them to think about things a bit more.

Damn Proselytizers.

Anyway after two hours or so of yelling and preaching and whatnot, they finally left. Unfortunately at that point I was too tired as well, and had to go to the Navarinou street to mingle with the rest of the heathens 🙂
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